When your child’s other parent may have issues or show traits of being a narcissist, there are two things that can happen. One, you feel the need to protect your child, and rightly so. The second is that you can project the narcissistic parent’s trait onto the child without meaning too. Of course, we don’t want our children to emulate the behaviors of a narcissist. We don’t want to see our beautiful babies grow up to be entitled, selfish people who see other people as resources to be used, who manipulate and can “do integrity” rather than actually be or have integrity. But children, by nature, can be quite selfish — that’s not a moralistic judgement. It’s normal. And what we call narcissistic traits are part of the growing up stages of children, especially as they enter their teen years. This can throw a concerned parent into a tizzy. In a sense, you are fighting for your child’s life. Make no mistake about it. When one parent models hurtful behavior, when science is out on how much personality disorders are the result of environmental influence and how much is genetics, if your child’s behavior shadows the narcissistic parent’s behavior in … Continue reading
Projecting
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Persevere
I’ve been pretty busy writing and recording podcasts and taking care of all the behind the scenes stuff that’s involved with creating an online presence, while getting ready to go back to work for the time being to support my writing. This has been a difficult decision to make, but a necessary one at this point in time. Juggling all these things at once, I’m so thankful I just have Life to deal with and not toxic dynamics. It’s hard enough to deal with life’s normal challenges, isn’t it? Than to have to continuously trip over obstacles a supposed partner throws in front of you. I encourage you to persevere. Even if you’re in the midst of manipulation, head games and gaslighting, and your child or children are in the midst of that too, take a moment… I don’t care how you get it. Claim it, seize it… just take it for yourself. No matter how often or severe the assaults, emotional or psychological, you can stop and remember yourself — why you’re here, who you love and what’s really important through it all. For me, it used to be in the middle of the night, in the bathroom, looking … Continue reading
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A New Creative Space
So, without really planning it, but perhaps making the changes within myself to be ready for it, I am in the process of embracing a new creating space. And perhaps a new way of living. I think this is what I’ve been working on for most of this year, and now that this year is coming to a close and a new one is dawning, I’m beginning to see my efforts manifesting in the loveliest of ways, heralding a new stage of my life. There are still many challenges I’m facing — financial for one. I find that many people who have been involved in abusive relationships take a hit not only in the emotional and psychological realm, but in their financial world as well. But this is a very powerful step for me, and while I know I’m sounding somewhat nebulous, I can say that as soon as this move is completed, I’ll be in a much more empowered position to not only create but to live the kind of life I’ve always wanted to live — a creative life without apology within a peaceful environment. There was a time I never thought I’d get here. Maybe that’s where … Continue reading
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